Memo from a Child to Parents
MEMO
From: a Child
To: Parents
Don’t spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for – I’m only testing you.
Don’t be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it and it makes me feel secure.
Don’t let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages.
Don’t make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly “big”.
Don’t correct me in front of people if you can help it. I’ll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.
Don’t make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of value.
Don’t protect me from consequences. I need to learn the hard way sometimes.
Don’t be upset when I say “I hate you”. Sometimes it isn’t you I hate but your power to thwart me.
Don’t take too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they get me the attention I need.
Don’t nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.
Don’t forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should. This is why I am not always accurate.
Don’t put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you will find that I’ll stop asking and I’ll seek my information elsewhere.
Don’t be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.
Don’t tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real and you can do much to reassure me if you try to understand.
Don’t ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover that you are neither.
Don’t ever think that it is beneath to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me fell surprisingly warm towards you.
Don’t forget that I love experimenting. I couldn’t get along without it, so please put up with it.
Don’t forget how quickly I’m growing up. It must be very difficult for you to keep pace with me, but do try.
Don’t forget that I don’t thrive without lots of love and understanding, but I don’t need to tell you, do I?
Please keep yourself fit and healthy. I need you.
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