The Top Ten Things Not To Do as TSA Administrator

 

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By Kip Hawley

In contemplation of the transition of administrations, I would like to share with you a list that I have prepared for whoever may end up at TSA in the next administration. Itís my version of The Top Ten Things Not To Do as TSA Administrator. And I speak from experience.

Number ten: Donít take calls from friends in Washington about returning to government.

Number nine: Donít use your real name.  Or if you do, reserve the URL, whatever your name is, like KipHawleyIsAnIdiot.com, reserve that URL.

 Number eight: Do not stick around for the ďis mascara a liquid or a gel?Ē debate.

Number seven: Donít ask for clarification when somebody says, ďHuh, you look different in person.Ē

And number six: Donít ever speak before checking the mute button.

 Number five: Donít read the TSA blog just before going to bed.

And number four, this one is particularly important: After meeting at DHS Headquarters, do not rush out of the meeting, hop into the front seat of the Secretaryís Suburban, and surprise the Secret Service agent on the Secretaryís detail.

Number three: Never carry your wifeís baggie through the checkpoint. Itís a long conversation, butÖ

Number two: Do not forget to keep a straight face, no matter what, if you ever find yourself on the C-SPAN call-in show. (I wonít explain that one, butÖ)

Iím going to save number one until a bit later.


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